Black and White

Chuck, Raynor and Phung sat at his sofa and slurped away at their Chow Mein takeout. After a grueling term of work, their last batch of dance students had graduated with flying colours, and he found himself resting around his very best friends.

It was a good day to be Chuck.

“So, I heard-” Chuck managed between slurps of his Chow Mein-”you’ve found yourself a partner?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Raynor smirked. “She’s one smooth woman, I tell ya.”

“What, I’m not good enough for you?” Phung sneered.

“Don’t get me wrong, Phung. You’ve got some good looks yourself, but you ain’t got nothing on this person.” Raynor pulled out a smartphone and set it on the table; Chuck and Phung saw a black woman with a great bust, well-toned skin and some very shapely legs. “That’s not all,” he added haughtily. “She has the voice of a nightingale and the reflexes of a cougar.”

“Oh, so you’re into that sort of stuff.”

“She’s stunning,” Chuck gasped. “Just look at that butt!”

“What, the age doesn’t matter to you? pfft…”

“Rubbish. She’s no more than twenty. I’m already twenty five,” Raynor said with a satisfied smile. “About time I got myself a girlfriend.”

“Look at that bust,” Chuck continued, ignoring both of his friends. “And that waistline! Man, is she Brazilian?”

“Not really,” Raynor cut in and took his phone. “She’s a Kenyan, and she’s one hell of a dancer.” He ignored Chuck’s pleading gaze and put the phone back in his front pocket. “I had the pleasure of meeting her in a nightclub down the road, and between us, we stole the dance floor. Best night of my life.”

“At least tell me how to find someone like that,” Chuck muttered under his breath, and stuffed his mouth full of noodles.

“You change girlfriends like you do underwear,” was Phung’s disinterested response.

“Most of them weren’t my type. Anyways…” Raynor leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “I’ve got a few contacts you might like. Why don’t you take these numbers, give them a call…”

“I’m sorry, Raynor, but Chuck’s booked for this lifetime.”

Chuck spilled his noodles.

The sofa depressed under Raynor’s butt. He turned to see a petite Chinese girl beside him, slurping noodles from her own plastic container- except this time the noodles smelled much better. “That looks way better than what Chuck’s eating,” he commented, glancing at the oil-soaked paper in Chuck’s hands. “Smells like it’s more than pepper and oil.”

“Rubbish,” was Chuck’s reply. “This is Lee’s. Best Chinese food I’ve ever seen.”

“Back to the main topic. Raynor.” Xing’er set down her noodles regally and glared at Raynor. “I want you not to give Chuck any numbers or ideas. He already has a girlfriend, and that’s final.”

Chuck’s noodles went flying out of his mouth. “What did you just say, Xing’er? I dare you, you little dragon *****, I double dare you! Say that again!”

“Anything for my boyfriend.” Xing’er winked at him. “Chuck already has a girlfriend,” she repeated dutifully. “It’s a dragon girl who is slightly shorter, but much, much better at everything than he is. and…” her gaze turned serious. “Chuck, it’s your turn.”

“...”

“You’re not going to chicken out, are you?” Xing’er threw him a sidelong look.

“... You’re not my girlfriend.”

“Nonsense,” Xing’er laughed. “Chuck likes to joke sometimes.”


Phung and Raynor exchanged confused looks. “Don’t get me wrong,” Phung asked tentatively, “but isn’t a relationship a two-way thing? You’ve got to have your partner’s consent first, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!” Xing’er grinned. Her hand snapped out and pulled Chuck into her embrace. “I sleep in his house, wash his clothes,  clean his home, cook his food, and save him from the occasional baddie, and Chuck in turn loves me with all his heart. Isn’t that right, Chuck?”

“Nonsense! That doesn’t even-”

Xing’er’s grip tightened.

“I yield, I yield!”

“See?” Xing’er snuggled lovingly against Chuck’s side. “I’m easily the most eligible here, and I belong to Chuck.” All trace of her killing intent disappeared, and Chuck was left staring awkwardly at Xing’er’s sudden burst of affection. He stared at Raynor and gestured fervently at the little monster beside her- couldn’t Raynor just help him out at least?

“I guess you two make a great couple,” Raynor said with an uneasy smile.

Traitor! Chuck threw him a betrayed look.

“Still, I have my Sarah. She’s the best.” Raynor’s smartphone snapped out again.

“Really,” Phung rolled her eyes. “Do you know her last name?”

“-” Raynor’s gears ground to a halt.

“The names of her brothers or sisters?”

Raynor tried to say something, but his mind drew another blank.

“Where she lives, perhaps?”

Against his will, Raynor’s lips remained shut.

“So. You’re choosing someone you know close to nothing about over me.” Phung nodded. “Yep, that is the Raynor I knew,” she decided sadly. “A guy who knows close to nothing about relationships.”

“Whatever,” Chuck huffed. “I’ve had enough of your antics, Xing’er.” He brushed the noodle debris off his jacket and prepared to leave. “I am not your girlfriend, Xing’er, and that’s final!”

“Really?” Xing’er pouted. “In that case, will you be cleaning the toilet yourself?”

Chuck stopped dead. Then he started moving, because he realized what had happened.

But no sooner than he’d thought of leaving, Chuck found himself back on the sofa with Xing’er’s arms wrapped tightly around his collarbone. “See?” Xing’er giggled. “Chuck is all mine!”

So it was that Chuck, the Gentleman who could never be seduced, found himself attached to a dragon girl.

It was a good day, he thought sarcastically. A very good day to be Chuck.